<p><i>Today is Coke and Pepsi McDonald's thirteenth birthday. Someone's out to make sure they never make it to thirteen and a half.</i></p> <p>Racing across America,<br /> the twins will nearly be<br /> BOILED ALIVE<br /> in a huge basket of french fries,<br /> FROZEN TO DEATH<br /> by soft-serve ice cream,<br /> STAMPEDED<br /> in a wild stadium riot,<br /> KIDNAPPED<br /> from a high-speed<br /> roller coaster, and<br /> WORST OF ALL<br /> their parents think<br /> they're totally joking!<br /></p> <p>Will they survive? Will they defeat Archie Clone? Will they be dropped out of a helicopter onto the tip of the Washington Monument? Will they ever say "genius"?</p>