<i>My name is Ruby.</i> <p><i>This book is about me.</i></p> <p>It tells the deeply hideous story</p> <p>of what happens when my mother dies</p> <p>and I'm dragged three thousand miles away</p> <p>from my gorgeous boyfriend, Ray,</p> <p>to live in L.A. with my father,</p> <p>who I've never even met</p> <p>because he's such a scumbag that he</p> <p>divorced my mom before I was born.</p> <p>The only way I've ever even <i>seen</i> him</p> <p>is in the movies,</p> <p>since he's this megafamous actor</p> <p>who's been way too busy</p> <p>trying to win Oscars</p> <p>to even visit me <i>once</i> in fifteen years.</p> <p>Everyone loves my father.</p> <p>Everyone but me.</p>